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Happy Monday!

If you don’t go for your dreams, who will?

Today’s NEW podcast episode–“On Going For Your Dreams & Advice From The Wise Fisherman“–is now available!

Check it out on Joe’s podcast Man Over Mind! 


https://bemanovermind.com/listen 

 

Always Go for Your Dreams!

JC


Get insights & motivation about making the most out of today, overcoming Self Doubt & MORE
on Joe’s NEW podcast – Man Over Mind.
While it’s specifically designed for men, anyone can find tremendous value.
In fact, the feedback from our female audience has been overwhelmingly positive!


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Happy Monday!

 

My primary energy patterns align with the “fixer,” the “doer,” & the “perfectionist.”

I’ve left the opposites of those energies in my shadows, because disowned energies are uncomfortable.

Under each primary energy pattern is a vulnerability the mind is subconsciously pushing down. It takes force to keep a primary energy down. Just like holding a beach ball under water–you’ll be able to get it below the surface if you apply constant tension, but at some point it’s going to pop back up.  And even if you can hold them down for a while, these energies don’t go away.

 

Like the beach ball, I hit a point along my journey where I could no longer hold things down. My primary energies were drained. I lived too long out of balance.

While balance is a moving target, you can learn a lot by paying attention to what you’re holding tightly onto that’s providing you comfort. What’s comfortable/familiar is not bad…what’s familiar is what you organically adapted in a time of need at some point along the way.

You Can’t Only Stay with What You Know

But that which is comfortable/familiar is only a part what’s available to you. And it’s very limiting if you only stay with what you know.

 

What’s uncomfortable–what’s lurking in your shadows–is scary for the simple fact that it’s unknown.

We have this weird relationship with the unknown as we simultaneously are afraid of what we don’t know, yet it’s the very things in our life that rose out of uncertainty that enhance our lives.

Marriage, kids, literally every technology, wisdom – EVERYTHING we love was something unknown at one point. As I walk this path deeper into the shadows, I encourage you to peek into yours.

What are your primary energies? What are you disowning?

I share more on this on this weeks podcast link below!

www.bemanovermind.com/listen

Have an AWESOME week!

JC

 

Get insights & motivation about making the most out of today, overcoming Self Doubt & MORE
on Joe’s NEW podcast – Man Over Mind.
While it’s specifically designed for men, anyone can find tremendous value.
In fact, the feedback from our female audience has been overwhelmingly positive!


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Happy Monday!

On today’s episode of the Man Over Mind podcast, Joe shares some REAL talk with therapist, mental health advocate and podcast host Brenna Guinan.

Today’s podcast is centered on normalizing the narrative around Mental Health—not just for men but for everyone—and is packed with tangible tips you can use on your own journey!

 

 

Get insights & motivation about making the most out of today, overcoming Self Doubt & MORE
on Joe’s NEW podcast – Man Over Mind.
While it’s specifically designed for men, anyone can find tremendous value.
In fact, the feedback from our female audience has been overwhelmingly positive!


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Happy Monday!

Are you backing up your emotions? Are you afraid to release your emotions?

You’ve probably never been trained how to release your emotions appropriately and without judgement.

Check out this week’s podcast as Joe interviews Rachel Kaplan on Emotional Potty Training & Building Resilience!

 

Apple – https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1553634004

Google – https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/1692103.rss

Spotify – https://open.spotify.com/show/3MtsamZFs6QMrqJkGwq5Ar

 

 

Get insights & motivation about making the most out of today, overcoming Self Doubt & MORE
on Joe’s NEW podcast – Man Over Mind.
While it’s specifically designed for men, anyone can find tremendous value.
In fact, the feedback from our female audience has been overwhelmingly positive!


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Happy Monday!

On today’s episode of the “Man Over Mind” podcast, we talk with Mitch Lagadin of the “Slow Down, Man” podcast.

 

Mitch has dedicated his life to the power of slowing down and has created a podcast to educate us on the importance of Being.

 

We talk on a variety of subjects from External Validation to handling Self Doubt & Fear, as well as Self Love. We also break down several of the negative narratives of masculinity.

 

Apple – https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1553634004

Google – https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/1692103.rss

Spotify – https://open.spotify.com/show/3MtsamZFs6QMrqJkGwq5Ar

 

 

Get insights & motivation about making the most out of today, overcoming Self Doubt & MORE
on Joe’s NEW podcast – Man Over Mind.
While it’s specifically designed for men, anyone can find tremendous value.
In fact, the feedback from our female audience has been overwhelmingly positive!


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Happy Monday!

On today’s “Man Over Mind” podcast, we welcome the host of the Dad Up podcast Bryan Ward!

Bryan is a championship basketball coach, former Marine and most of all he is proud to be a Dad to his two boys.

The Dad Up podcast show is for dads about dads being dads.

The show will have great guests that will share their experiences being dads and how they have managed raising kids and being successful in their careers.

 

Get insights & motivation about making the most out of today, overcoming Self Doubt & MORE
on Joe’s NEW podcast – Man Over Mind.
While it’s specifically designed for men, anyone can find tremendous value.
In fact, the feedback from our female audience has been overwhelmingly positive!


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Happy Monday!

There was a time in my life when I was on two reality shows within two years! I competed to win because I thought winning would get me the chance to “help more people.”  What I didn’t understand is that I already had (and still have) exactly what I need to help more people. But the ego likes to disguise intentions to make them sound good. The ego loves  “more” or “new” of anything that you don’t currently have.

 

Glamour- and desire-driven goals bond us to the thing we are after. We become attached to getting the thing and develop an emotional dependency of “needing it.”

 

On a subconscious level, we experience guilt when we act out of desire/lust and it comes at a cost.

 

Self esteem decreases and we experience envy, jealousy and that feeling that what we are doing is never enough.

 

Yet when we let go and “de-glamorize” the world, we are no longer at the mercy of our need for approval from others or from the ego itself. We free ourselves when we realize that we don’t need anything more than what we already have.

 

Understanding that you are not your thoughts, your goals or even your body. YOU are the one that witnesses this unfolding movie of life…nothing outside of YOU can ultimately change YOU.

 

When we can hone in on this level of awareness, we find inner peace and freedom.

 

When You Understand Do vs. Get

We still have goals, but now we understand they exist more for the journey towards them, rather than simply achieving them. You still put in all the effort, but know that you are not owed anything in return.

 

In this way expectations start to diminish and you can begin to enjoy things for what they are.

 

Contrary to what I had always thought, it turns out life is much better when you SLOW down and enjoy what’s right in front of you.

 

We have this illusion that there’s somewhere better to be, something better to be doing, something that is MORE than what we already have. Yet what good is “better” if you can’t enjoy what you already have?

 

There are no cheat codes in life. To ascend beyond your current stage, YOU must DO.

 

And remember that there’s a big difference between “do” and “get.”

 

We’ve become conditioned to expect to “get” everything immediately:

  • from social media algorithms designed to give us instant gratification to keep us engaged
  • to Amazon’s two day deliveries on just about any product you could ever want
  • to overly plentiful fast food options

 

We want what we want, and we want it now. 

 

Yet anything that delivers instant gratification lacks true substance.

  • The “like” or the new friend on social media is nowhere near as important as the bond of a best friend you’ve had for years, or the in-person friendly exchange with the stranger behind you in line. Online life cannot compare to real life human interaction.
  • Receiving something from Amazon does not give the same type of gratification as would researching to find the product you want, and nowhere close to building it yourself.
  • Fast food may taste good, but that taste is only temporary. The negative impact of the poor nutrition it provides lasts far longer.

 

Things we think we need generally fall under the “lust” category. But because the thing cannot deliver upon the permanent solution we are after, we then attach ourselves to the next thing. And so we end up constantly chasing after things that will never make us happy.

 

Expecting to “Get” sets us up for an endless cycle of negative emotion when we are not forever elated with what we got. We lose that ultra-high feeling quickly and chase after the next thing in search of that emotional high. 

 

Do it For the Right Reasons

When you focus on “doing” something for the right reasons, you discover more about yourself and all that you are capable of.

 

You must EXPLORE your inner most capabilities and reframe any “failures” as “learnings.” Use what has worked as fuel forward and what did not as guidelines of what to do differently in the future.

 

The happiest people I know are not necessarily the richest but those who are the most fulfilled. The origin of fulfillment is self-growth, which must be earned.

 

Over 3 years ago my wife and I moved down to Florida–something I wanted to do my entire life. I had this vision of it as a utopia in which everything would be perfect! However, the reality is that moving away from family & friends and businesses created tremendous stress…as did starting a life and  business with no ties.

 

The day I graduated from college, the idea of starting my own business was exciting and was going to be awesome! Until I drove home after the ceremony and realized I had no idea how to make it work, no money and no backup plan.

 

I’ve always thought that when I get X or move to Y, I’ll be good. Goals tend to lead us to believe in that if we could only achieve them, life would be perfect. The reality is that with every accomplishment comes a new set of problems!

 

There’s great wisdom in the cliche “Wherever you go, there you are.” Because no matter where you go and what happens, it’s up to YOU to work through your inner issues. Only by doing the hard work will you be able to let yourself be present and enjoy what’s around you.

 

 

 

Get insights & motivation about making the most out of today, overcoming Self Doubt & MORE
on Joe’s NEW podcast – Man Over Mind.
While it’s specifically designed for men, anyone can find tremendous value.
In fact, the feedback from our female audience has been overwhelmingly positive!


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Happy Monday!

We can’t go back in time to change important events or experiences. What we can do is review our past events and experiences and mine them for insight, meaning and possibility.

If we continue to have negative feelings about something that “happened” to us, it means our development has stalled. We are holding onto and attaching ourselves to event from the past rather than moving forward, learning and growing from those events.

Take time to find the benefits and drawbacks of situations. By doing so you will become aware of you perceive things, allowing you can find a level of neutrality. Anything short of neutrality will cause us to be depressed or over-elated; neither of which extremes are true. Depression (and over-elation) are just one-sided perceptions –based on how we feel about something–that impacts our decision making here and now.

Creating a better future isn’t just possible, it’s the most logical option. Why punish yourself for the rest of your life by holding on to your past? No matter what happened to you, holding onto those feelings is like dragging  an anchor behind you every day.

The pain from our past can hurt such that it changes how we see things. And the longer we carry the pain, the harder it is to separate ourselves from that pain which then begins to become part of our identity. What would happen if you decided to face those emotions so you can let them go? What would happen if you opened yourself to feeling different?

 

The major or tiny traumas from your past prevent you from living a better life. As you hold onto these traumas, so your life adapts. You attract people who also feel that way and you see the world through a limited lens. Think about it: if you’re carrying unresolved pain from the past, you are closing off yourself to growth and will see the world as limited and fixed.

 

Everything about you

  • how you dress, talk and think
  • the people you choose to spend your time with
  • what you choose to spend your time watching and reading

all these things happen according to your identity, which is tied to the trauma of your past.

 

The mind is brilliant at making more of whatever we focus on. But that means that on a subconscious level, our pain from repressed emotions becomes our highest value–even above our health and family.

 

As you’re reading this, if you’re feeling resistant to these ideas, take notes. Later, take time to lean into those feelings and examine them. Emotions are the path towards change and growth. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s not going to change until YOU change.

 

It’s extra difficult when you’ve lost a loved one because you must accept life without that person. In a way, you experience guilt when you even think about moving forward in our life without that person, as if it minimizes that person’s meaning in your life. Just remember nothing can take away the moments you shared; those memories will always be there for you. And refusing to move forward (whether consciously or subconsciously) without that person will only make you to see pain in your world.

How we talk about our past has more to do with where we are at now than it does our actual past.

 

Listen to this week’s podcast for how you can break your cycle of pain and free yourself from limiting beliefs!

 

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Get insights & motivation about making the most out of today, overcoming Self Doubt & MORE
on Joe’s NEW podcast – Man Over Mind.
While it’s specifically designed for men, anyone can find tremendous value.
In fact, the feedback from our female audience has been overwhelmingly positive!


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Happy Monday!

Do you feel like you’re running on the proverbial hamster wheel in one or more areas of life?

Are you living by default or design?

On today’s episode of the “Man Over Mind” podcast, Joe talks about the difference between DOING and BEING. Joe gives you a lens through which to see the world.

  • You can break the cycle of whatever is no longer serving you.
  • You can free yourself from old patterns, old thought, and old behaviors that no longer serve you.
  • You have the ability to get unstuck from whatever is currently holding you back.

You can get to where you want to be!

 

Get insights & motivation about making the most out of today
on Joe’s NEW podcast – Man Over Mind.
While it’s specifically designed for men, anyone can find tremendous value.
In fact, the feedback from our female audience has been overwhelmingly positive!


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Happy Monday!

My first introduction to the Ego was from Ryan Holiday’s book The Ego Is The Enemy.

 

I didn’t know a lot about the ego, but it made sense that it was the enemy given what I knew about the word.

 

Being egotistical essentially meant you had your head up your ass. Amirite?

 

Yet as I began to learn more about the Ego and reflect on my own experience, I started to see the Ego as less of an enemy and more of an ally. 

 

Today I’d like to share my experience, perspective and what I’ve learned about the Ego. I invite you to develop your own conclusions.

 

According to the Oxford language, the Ego is a person’s sense of esteem or self-importance. 

 

If we are aware of the ego, it’s actually neither good nor bad. The ego is detrimental when we allow it to operate subconsciously, without actively observing its thoughts.

 

Note that the ego’s thoughts are not your thoughts. The ego is not you, it’s just a part of you. 

 

Freud’s personality theory saw the psyche as three parts: Id, Ego and Superego

 

  1. Id: The primitive and animalist aspect of us who operates unconsciously. It’s impulsive and instinctive, responding directly to our basic needs & desires.
  2. Ego:  That ‘part of the id which has been modified by the direct influence of the external world.’ The ego is the bridge between the external world and your ID. The ego in this sense is acting out the ID’s demands, in a more rational way. Whereas the Id is more impulsive, the Ego acts more careful in considering how the world will respond to your actions. 

 

  1. Superego: The conscience which punishes the ego through guilt and the ideal self, which is your interpretation of how you should be, based on your values & perceptions of the world. 

 

I share Freud’s Personality Theory to prove a very important point – there is a lot more going inside your head than you think. At any given point, there are multiple parts of your psyche all competing against each other. 

 

How the Ego Can Be the Enemy

While there are many different definitions of Ego, one thing we know is that it’s tied to self importance and self esteem. Neither of those are bad, but if not kept in check they can cause us to judge and minimize ourselves and others.

 

Typically when we think of Ego, we think of the really smart and/or good looking person who has their head far up their ass. The person who thinks their shit doesn’t stink, if you will.

 

Yet this idea of self importance is also tied directly to the victim mentality. You victimize yourself when you believe that your issues (whether weight, family, personal etc.) are particularly unique and especially unfair. The victim mentality looks at others and minimizes their issues, while firmly believing their own issues are far more important and complicated!

 

If we obsess over our self image, whether too positively or too negatively, we allow the Ego to run the show and distort our reality. 

 

How Do You Know When the Ego Will Assert Itself?

 

  • When you aspire to do something new:
    • Common to worry about what others will say, what if it doesn’t work out as we want to.
    • It can cause us to overthink and therefore distract us from doing the work.
  • When we reach a level of success:
    • The ego can convince us that just because one thing went well, that everything else must too. 
    • A side effect here is to take on too much and dilute our energies. This commonly happens when you achieve success early on.
    • Confidence vs. Arrogance: 

Confidence: Healthy self-belief in your abilities. Knowing that not everything is going to go your way but that there is opportunity for growth in every attempt.

Arrogance: I am the shizz and everyone will know it!

  • When we experience a setback:
    • Because the ego is about self importance, when something doesn’t go our way, the ego will attempt to protect you.
    • This shows up as being defensive and blaming others. 

 

Make Your Ego Your Ally

Build your self esteem so that you act with confidence, not arrogance. Consider the following filters:

    1. Discernment over Judgement:  Discernment involves your insights and understanding what’s going on, whereas judgement tends to happen automatically based on our own wounds.
    2. Kindness over Being Right: Wanting to be right or the “Woe is Me” mentality are the negative aspects of the ego protecting your self-importance. Yet there is nothing to protect because there truly is nothing to fear. Nothing in the outside world can deter your sense of self or determine your self-importance. This is an inner game. As long as you love yourself for who you are, you are able to be kind and not feel the need to defend.
    3. Self-Compassion over Perfectionism: Self compassion is accepting where you’re at, knowing it’s exactly where you should be and appreciating your life. Perfectionism puts you in a state of constant chasing, where you think you should be and do something other than what you already are. 

 

The Ego will put you down or lift you up. Yet if used with intention, it will empower us as illustrated by the Frank Shamrock “+ – = System.” Frank is one of the most successful mixed martial arts (MMA) fighters of all time. His “Shamrock System” is based on the ideas of  Plus, Minus, and Equal. For you to be great, you must:

  1. Plus + : Learn from someone with more experience than you. There is always someone better or bigger than you. Use their expertise to gain perspective and reflect on something bigger than yourself.
  2. Minus – : Teach someone with less experience than you. When you teach/mentor what you know, you will learn even more and discover many ways to improve yourself.
  3. Equal + : Engage and connect with someone with the same experience as you. A peer will give you valuable, honest feedback and joyfully support your journey.

Humility is the key to working this system and finding success. Arrogance will be your stumbling block.

So is your ego your enemy or ally? That is the question of the week! I would love to hear what YOU think!

 

 

Get insights & motivation about making the most out of today, overcoming Self Doubt & MORE
on Joe’s NEW podcast – Man Over Mind.
While it’s specifically designed for men, anyone can find tremendous value.
In fact, the feedback from our female audience has been overwhelmingly positive!